I always believed that if you were a good person — if you wished good for others, kept a pure heart, and stayed positive — life would reward you. I thought the Universe worked in magical ways, opening doors, bringing opportunities, and aligning the right people when your intentions were good and your heart was true.

Well… I’ve come to realize that isn’t always the case.

If you are one of the “Chosen” — here to fulfill a specific purpose on Earth — things can actually feel much harder. When you can’t figure out what that purpose is, or don’t move with Divine timing, it can seem like nothing goes your way, no matter how kind or well-intentioned you are. It’s not about how “good” you are — it’s about what you’re here to do.

I’ve learned that I’m an old soul, here to be of service to others. But living that truth hasn’t been easy. I’ve found myself running around trying to help everyone, doing good deeds, staying afloat — only to feel the Universe say, “Not enough. We want it all.”

And I ask myself — does this mean I don’t matter? What about my needs, my feelings, my family, my home, my desire for stability? I know I’m capable. I can work. I can create. I have support from family and friends. Yet somehow, it’s as if the message is: “Sacrifice.” Sacrifice your comfort, your plans, your dreams — and surrender everything to divine service.

It feels like the story of Jonah, Jesus, or Mother Teresa.

I wasn’t raised in a religious or spiritual home — this awakening came late in my life. And now, I feel like I’m playing catch-up, trying to understand what “surrender” really means.

People say we have free will — and I believe that’s true for most. But when you are called for something higher, it feels like free will narrows. You can resist, but life will echo back — sometimes loudly. In my case, quite literally: clicks in my ears, knocks on my ceiling, strange disruptions that make me pay attention when I’m not listening to guidance.

I’ve applied for over forty jobs, and each time something strange happens — people get sick, the energy blocks, or the door closes. It’s as if the Universe is saying, “No, not that way.”

And so I return to one word: Surrender.

But how do you find balance in that? How do you serve others while still honoring yourself?

We hear messages like “Love yourself first,” “Fill your cup before helping others,” or “Put your own mask on first.” And those are powerful teachings. But for some of us — the ones truly called — that may not be the path.

If you ever find yourself “Chosen” in this lifetime or another, know this: it’s not easy. It’s not glamorous. It asks everything of you. But perhaps, in that full surrender, we discover a love and purpose far greater than anything we could have imagined on our own. I will let you know, I am still in the process. ❤️