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Gloria Lybecker posted an update
Self-sabotage
I believed for years that “keeping the peace” meant staying quiet.
If I had a need, I swallowed it. If something hurt, I softened it with a smile. I told myself I was being kind, but inside I felt smaller and smaller. That old myth—“good relationships have no conflict”—was really self-abandonment dressed up as love.One evening, after a long day at the sanctuary, a simple comment from someone I love brushed an old bruise. I felt my chest tighten and the familiar urge to disappear. Instead, I put a hand on my heart, let my feet find the floor, and took three slow breaths. Then I said, “I want to stay connected, and I’m noticing I shut down when I hear words like that. What I’m needing is resonance and a little softness.”
It wasn’t perfect. We stumbled. But we stayed. We repaired. And something sacred shifted: I learned that telling the truth gently is an act of love—for myself and for the relationship. The myth cracked, and a fuller, sturdier connection grew in its place.
Some “truths” we inherit are actually self-sabotage:
“If I have needs, I’m too much.”
“If we disagree, we’re unsafe.”
“If it hurts, I should handle it alone.”Today, I choose a new story: presence, repair, and brave, warm honesty. That’s what strengthens love.
What old belief are you ready to retire so you can meet yourself—and others—with more truth and tenderness?
